Attempt #11: morning run of the 19th

Two in a row, I guess morning runs get me into active mode where most of the effort goes into forgetting to update the blog about running.

Went to bed earlier which naturally means my whole sleep cycle rode out of the door, into a closet and to the highest tip in Narnia. Woke up pretty tired, realised I'm already late to gym by 16 minutes, quickly did my morning things skipping the whole food-good, food-energy, energy-rawr thing. This naturally meant I only could do 2x20 sets of all the exercises before I felt like a flat tire on a sleep cycle somewhere in Narnia. Continuity, ey!

Oh of course, as none of you noticed I missed the post on Tuesday. Why? I hear nobody asking, why naturally because of my screwed up sleep cycle!

Anyway, tried to trick my brain by running a spanking new route! "The Sea-way" I call it:

Naturally it's a bit shorter distance just to make me look dumb. Realised I ran 750 meters today, all-time personal worst!

Attempt #10: morning run of the 12th

Sorry, did not have time to write this post earlier!

I was pretty tired from the gym, had a long lecture in the uni, later in the evening had the chance to play the school mascot and naturally after that we had to celebrate so I ended up waking at 7 AM for the gym and returning home at around 4 AM, busy, huh?

Well, after that quick look into my life let's carry on with the running thing. I was pretty tired from the lower-body workout on Tuesday but this Thursday's gym session was surprisingly rough on me. Ended up running a kilometre home and walking the rest because I had absolutely zero stamina left.

Attempt #9: morning run of the 10th

Before getting into the details of today's run, let me apologise for the lack of updates and that's because of two things:

Firstly, I took a short break after the last run because I absolutely destroyed all the muscles in my arms and chest, remember kids: sporting is dangerous if you're dumb!

Secondly, we adopted a kitten into the family, yes I'm blaming a poor helpless little kitten for the lack of updates, I'm a monster. No but really, I don't want to disturb/scare him yet with my nightly rummaging/death gurgles.

But, let's get back onto the topic of all things dumb that is me!!

Today I had the pleasure of visiting our nice little time bubble of a gym again. Today was lower-body day so try to imagine what an hour of overly-manly gym will do to the leg muscles. And then what does Erik do? (I think this might be one of the first Viking moments of mine!) Naturally I pack all my gym stuff, put on my nice little backpack and then proceed to run 1.8 kilometres back home. Why? Because why not. Oh and I ran the same route so that I wouldn't have to make a new map - efficiency on such levels is scary.

Attempt #8: morning run of the 5th

Quick update!

Me and my buddy went to the gym that we have in our university. Felt very 1980's: Stallone, Schwarzenegger and generally bad macho jokes and bad accents were had. Was fun lifting metal!

Of course all that cut off the oxygen supply to my brain because I then got the brilliant idea of running home from the campus. After about a kilometre I realised what I'm doing: I was running in the sun wearing full black gym clothes and a backpack full of gym stuff. That was dumb, sun is like a huge glowy energy leech for me.

And naturally a map of the run (of course I didn't run the whole 2 kilometres, more like 1 km):

Attempt #7: night run of the 2nd

I like porridge, but the porridge hates me. When I set out to write this blog I had a few things in mind. Firstly, I set out to entertain people because failure and self-deprecating humour is funny. Secondly, it was the easiest way for a tech-savvy wibbly-wobbly person like me to keep a diary/count/achievement log. Thirdly, I'm here to motivate people: yes, it's pretty damn hard to start, it's pretty horrible to find motivation to keep on chugging along but if I, a super-lazy and unmotivated unconfirmed-if-really-human can do this, so can you!

I also promised two things: that I will be censoring my language so that nobody would get insulted by my potty-mouth and that I will be brutally honest about the course of my runs.

Let's get to the second point right away. Tonight I felt kind of ill and quite tired. I adamantly decided that I've skipped at least a night of running and I should get up and run otherwise I'd get back in the habit of constantly postponing this endeavour. I chugged on some water, made me some of that sweet milk and honey porridge and set out to have a nice little jog.

Firstly, holy crap is it getting cold outside! Secondly, porridge didn't give me any super running powers this time around. What did it give me was that after running two circuits I felt very sick. I was actually about to vomit. I straightened myself up, started breathing deep and trying to walk it off. And guess what? It worked. I continued to run another circuit before deciding to stop testing my luck with the whole stomach-might-get-emptied-the-wrong-way-around situation and went back inside.

I feel absolutely super now! If this feeling continues through the morning then tomorrow/today is going to be a good day. Good night, dear readers!

Attempt #6: night run of the 29th

In porridge we trust. Seriously, tonight's run was pretty unremarkable, especially because I ran out of energy amazingly fast. Let us take off our sunglasses and put them on again whilst saying something cheesy as we launch into another analysis!

Firstly, I have taken it onto me as a religious act to drink at least 4 litres (that's like... 1 US gallon?) of water a day. It acts as a great source of energy and supposedly helps with a zillion other ailments. Yay for water! Today I had about 2 litres, kind of feel like the mummy from the Mummy when he's spitting sand and all that.

Secondly, as stated before: in porridge we trust! As promised, today's run didn't involve me stuffing my face with sweet-sweet insta-porridge with all natural milk and honey. Results were stunning, I ran my usual Medium Circuit but I only managed three circuits with some walking so the actual distance ran today was like...
1.5 km? DOESN'T MATTER, because I broke another milestone with that crappy run: I have now run a total of 10.7 kilometres! (There's also a counter now somewhere on the right hand side that keeps the count of total distance ran, because numbers)

Like I mentioned the run was pretty unremarkable, save for like three people up and about at like 1 AM, I mean really, who in their right mind is up at 1 A- oh, right, haha, me. Oh, I also ran into my first dog tonight! It was one of those shitty little dogs that everybody hates but you'll love to death if you were to get one, about the size of an American football - so I guess a footlong? That's like a whole 30 centimetres of dog, it playfully chased me until I outran it, yeah take that evolution! I also saw a massive hedgehog. Well, I say massive, it was just bigger than the shitty little dog. Is that massive? Can a hedgehog expert comment on this post please?

I also decided on a milestone whilst showering. You all know the Medium Circuit by know:

Well, meet its bigger brother, Circus Maximus:

Yeah it's only two times bigger than the Medium Circuit but hell, it's an actual circuit now!

Oh yeah the milestone, it is: 

"to be able to run three full circuits of Circus Maximus by snowfall"

I know, it's only 3.6 km but you're talking to a sloshy slouchy sloth here!!

Attempt #5: night run of the 27th

Allow me to start this off with a shout-out to all my confirmed avid readers of... well, one. You know who you are.

Let me also state that yes, I have returned! I took 20 or so days off, partly because medical reasons (unrelated to the fat bratwurst that is me chugging through the neighbourhood) and mostly because I'm lazy.

But, as a new school yea- university year is fast approaching I thought about getting back into the lovely healthy effort to maybe balance all the unhealthy stuff. Plus, being healthy seems to act positively on all that motivation macguffin.

You are about to read something very new on this blog: I enjoyed tonight's run. Holy crap, Erik has finally lost what little was left of his mind! No, relax me, I'm trying to be serious and not sound crazy whilst typing a chat with myself whilst having an inner monologue in my head. Okay, maybe I have lost my mind.

Let's analyse the reasons behind this loopy statement. I wore my usual running gear: pair of gym shoes, pair of sports socks, pair of gym shorts with extra netting for all the jewels, a super-breathy super-light cotton T-shirt and a sports jacket. Nothing new here but now you know what I like to wear when running.

Perhaps something I did during the day? Well, I did enjoy a healthy ex- no, no, healthy movement outside when I walked for about 3 km. Of course I wouldn't say it was super healthy because of all the sun and heat and sweat and general ew-ness. It does however mean I moved a little instead of the usual brushing-off-the-cobwebs-and-going-out-for-a-jog-ness.

How about the diet? Diet? Hah, funny little four letters. Oh, you mean what I generally stuff in my food-hole? Today I had three sandwiches, half a litre of beer, litre of coffee, insta-porridge with milk and honey and about four litres of water - of which three litres I consumed in one hour flat after all that to... detox? Maybe all that, after given an hour or so to digest, gave me ALL the energy to run? Must recreate conditions and test again!

Oh right, the run. I ran the usual Medium Circuit for three circuits, that's about 2 km, which, I just realised, was 200 metres short of my blog-time personal best, damn it all. I had enough energy to maybe pull another circuit and beat my record! Then again I'd probably be coughing my lungs out in a bush somewhere. Win some lose some, huh? Here's the map:

PS. I should also note it was considerably colder outside, you can already see your breath when exhaling, can't wait for the snowfall like... in a week or something knowing the weather god is a silly bish who enjoys tormenting us but mainly me. XOXO Readers! *kisses*

Attempt #4: day run of the 8th

A day run!? Let me first explain why I'm posting this on the 11th: social life.

Anyway, the day run was... a horrible idea and I'll never do that again. I ran for about 1.4 km after which I felt like falling over, fainting and just dying in a bush. It was like 25°C in the shade and 30°C in the sun. I'm better suited with snow, y'know: "if it's cold, add layers; if it's hot, remove skin?"-logic.

I'll be sticking to night runs from here on, but I'll have to skip today because of medical reasons.

I had originally intended a longer blog post but due to aforementioned reasons I couldn't post and now I've forgotten/too tired to think anything funny or clever.

Stay tuned!

Attempt #3: night run of the 6th

Hey avid readers! Er... reader? Um... audience, passers-by... running/failing enthusiasts!

As you can see I accomplished my third attempt at running a week after the second one, boy am I bad at this. Must be all the social-butterflying I do. Nevertheless, here I am again, in front of you coughing like crazy butt-ass naked in my computer chair. Too much information, my bad. It's the coughing throwing me off.

Tonight I ran three and a half circuits. Holy crap that's more than last time meaning the distance I ran was 2.2 km. Ladies and gentlemen, that's the current blog-time personal best, I'm surprised I could do that after a week of not doing anything related to running.

Anyway, did my run a bit earlier tonight than usual, around 23:00 (11 pm), usually I do my runs between 12-2 am. This of course NATURALLY means I see seven or eight people on my run, boy did I feel silly.

I'm planning another run for tomorrow so stay tuned when I triumph the current best distance ran or cough my lungs out!

Attempt #2: night run of the 29th

Good evening folks! Well, I say folks, I probably just get the one or two passer-by's then and now, but if you indeed ARE a regular reader, leave a comment!

Now, back to the topic of running. I am currently twenty years of age, I'd like to consider myself an 'young-adult' more than 'late-teen' since, well, there's no -teen in my age any more. I'm at a point in my life where I can live quite comfortably with little issues then and now, but the biggest reason why I started running, and a rather 'adult' problem was that of high blood pressure.

I get the now and then burst in blood pressure whenever I'm on social outings (that is, after all, what being a young adult is all about!) my heart has to start slugging more of the BBQ-sauce-esque blood everywhere in my beautiful seal body (what?)

The rational side of me naturally told me: "Dude, doctor, now; it's probably your weight, but just to be sure!" and of course the irrational side kicked in as well: "Nah brah, just go have a jog!" to which the rational side responded with a surprising: "You know what? Old Iry here might be onto something! Move your fat ass!"

Probably should have started this post with this bit that we've reached now. Tonight I ran 2 km. That's only a 400 meter improvement but the difference is that, after finishing the run, I felt like I could run some more. Naturally, keeping in mind what happened last time, I didn't. I should also clear up the "uphilly and downhilly surfaces" part from the aforementioned post: it's about a 2.5-3 meter slow incline with a sudden 2.5-3 meter decline. So technically whenever I run I change the speed and, in connection, the style; by style I mean jogging uphill versus running at a slow-to-medium pace downhill.

Also, I think I got a taste of "the runner's high", just read the middle part of this post if you need proof.

And to neatly cap things off, have a map of "The Medium Circuit" as a reminder of where I run (I ran three circuits tonight if you don't deal in the metric devil!):

Motivation

For a blob like me running comes after plenty of motivation.

Let's start from the simplest thing: music. I've never ran whilst listening to music since I've never had good enough earphones that would stay in my massive earholes. Now I've found the perfect ones. Running whilst a tune blasts that brings you flashbacks from a video game where you had to run for your life? Everybody says that it works, and now that I've tested it, I join the legion of people saying: DO IT. Trust me, you'll run faster when you think there are alien hired neo-fascist policemen with guns after you.

And then we have the newest issue of The Oatmeal. I've been an avid reader of The Oatmeal ever since I found it a few years ago (coincidentally, stopped running around that time). Just give it a read, I feel like I could take on an ultra-marathon in a few years if I keep this running thing up.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running

And lastly, "the runner's high". I don't think I have experienced it yet, but I do know I'm getting slightly addicted to running, and in connection, to the thought of the eventual high. According to The Oatmeal I just need to get over that pain barrier, and who am I to distrust the things I read on the Internet!

Attempt #1: night run of the 26th

I love running at night. It's cooler outside, nobody to give your fat ass judgemental looks and, as a bonus, every shadow looks like it's out to get you, so you just naturally add speed to avoid a stabbing.

What have I learned to from the experience of running again after two or three years? Bulletpoints!

• There is no god.
• There. Is. No. God.
• My body is incapable of producing endorphins at the current distances.
• It is, however, very capable at producing: pain, high blood pressure, more pain, unnatural amounts of sweat, minor headache and did I already mention pain?
• THERE IS NO GOD.

The distance I ran was actually pretty decent. A whopping 1.6 km with uphilly and downhilly surfaces.
Here's a map of the circuit I have dubbed "The Medium Circuit":

(Clicky to enlargy! Those with keen eyes and Google Translate abilities can see that the circuit totals at about 650 meters, I ran two and a half circuits, also, you can figure out where I live, anonymity on the Internet is so hard to accomplish :( )

What am I doing now? Ranting on the Internet and binging on bananas and grapes.

Welcome!

Welcome!

I'm Erik-Silver (viking-pirate, arr!) and I created this blog to log my attempts at taking up running again. I'm not much of a runner. I love cycling but since my bike got stolen I've reverted to running. My bike got stolen almost a year ago.

From this you can establish I am a huge slob and to look less like a blob I've decided to, judging from the first attempt, kill myself by some physical exercise.

Follow me as I try to lose weight by thrusting myself through the neighbourhood. Trust me, it'll be a hilarious thing to see.